Well, you knew something like this was coming.

And here it is.

The Washington Times is reporting that a man has married his laptop computer in a New Mexico ceremony, and is now suing Utah in an effort to force that state to recognize his union with the device.

And that’s not all for which he is suing.

The gentleman in question, Chris Sevier, is also suing to force a Colorado baker to make a wedding cake for him and his computer bride. Oh, and the baker he’s suing is the same one who’s right now embroiled in another legal dispute related to his refusal to bake a cake on behalf of a same-sex wedding. Sevier is joined in his lawsuit by three polygamists.

Of course he is.

“If marriage based on self-asserted sex-based identity narratives is a ‘fundamental right,’ ‘individual right,’ ‘existing right,’ based on a ‘personal choice’ for homosexuals, then clearly it is also a ‘fundamental right,’ ‘individual right,’ ‘existing right,’ based on a ‘personal choice’ for polygamists, zoophiles and machinists,” Mr. Sevier declares in his lawsuit against Masterpiece Cakeshop baker

Jack Phillips.

Zoophiles? Machinists?

Laugh if you want, but a judge in Utah is permitting a portion of that lawsuit to move forward. Moreover, according to the Times, analysts admit that the claims made by Sevier “get to the heart” of what, if any, limits apply to nontraditional marriages.

By Robert G. Yetman, Jr. Editor At Large